So Your Girl Has Some People She Thinks Are Hot

WARNING FOR EXTREME HORNYPOSTING. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

In no particular order...

Keith Moon, Human Firework

Keith was my first BIG celebrity/musician crush back when I was a wee 16 year old in high school. Things have not necessarily gone downhill since then but they haven't exactly improved either.

I have no idea what to say about Keith that hasn't been said before. He died at the age of 32 but I think he lived a hundred lifetimes in those short decades. He was a drummer. An avatar of dionysian revelry, complete with the madness. He invented doing things for "the bit", including doing drag, using explosives, and generally harassing his friends/bandmates. Was he a great person? Not at all. But he was a person.

Somehow God blessed him with the prettiest eyelashes ever. Those aren't falsies, that shit isn't Maybelline, he was BORN with those.

The universe knew he would be a MENACE on Twitter so he had to be taken out in '78.

Estrogen and lithium would have saved her.

PETER DENNIS BLANDFORD TOWNSHEND

This is my snowdrop. My sweet darling angel. He is so tall and so stupid and bisexual and genderless and bipolar and a known switch AND -

He is so important to me. Even when he says and does really really stupid shit, he's a darling sunbeam that lights up my day!!!

This man has a fat ass, slutty little waist, and plays guitar like he invented the fucking instrument. The little (I say as he's like 6'1) bastard has written multiple rock operas and overall rock and roll masterpieces. He and his band revolutionized the genre and set the bar for music (and rock and roll shenanigans) and his impact cannot be overstated.

I want to bite him.

John "Big Titty Goth Girl" Entwistle

So you know how some people age like fine wine?

This motherfucker aged like a million dollar bottle of absinthe personally bottled by Jesus H Christ himself.

I'm 95% sure this dude was autistic and it makes him EVEN HOTTER. This LIBRA invented being goth in 1964. He basically singlehandedly changed the bass guitar as an instrument. He made himself nearly entirely deaf because he liked his music L O U D. He had a train room in his house.

He was nigh inseparable from both Keith and Pete - despite being "the quiet one" he committed JUST AS MANY shenanigans as Keith. Don't you forget that. He never had the concept of a budget (go off king) and did EVERYTHING in his power to keep serving look after look after look.

I wont him.

I'm sorry I'm not a completionist for the band I don't want to fuck Roger Daltrey (for the most part) (he is a challenge)

Ringo Starr!!!!!!!!!

Ok so Ringo was my FIRST real celebrity crush. Like. Baby hormonal 12 year old me was like "hey mom I really like The Beatles" so she gets me some books about them and I see this short dude with a big nose and I'm like AWOOGA OH BOY

He set the STAGE for me liking drummers. Like, even when I dipped into my high school emo phase I looked at the drummers in bands and was all "omg I love the bang bang boys" because you know what? They're silly geese most of the time. Not always unproblematic, but by and large they tend to be pretty chill guys.

Anyway. I'm gonna bite him.

Nick Mason, Drums

So I TOLD you I liked drummers. Nick is so underrated I think it's a crime. As the literal, named heart of Pink Floyd he is an integral part of the band who gets shoved way, way back when you compare him to Rog Waters (asshole deluxe concept album horse man), David Gilmour (Rog Waters' creative foil and one of the best guitarists of all time), Rick Wright (piano kitten high on cocaine), and Syd Barrett (tragic elf). Nobody even seems to know much about Nick other than the fact he wrote a book and likes cars and there's SO MUCH MORE TO HIM!!!

In every band (especially in the 60s and 70s) every member seems like they hate each other, and Nick is the exception to that rule. I cannot name a single person who genuinely disliked him, especially in his band. He's the ONLY member to stay with the band from start to finish, appearing on EVERY SINGLE ALBUM and has maintained healthy relationships with everyone. He's a certified sweetiepea!!!

Also he supposedly used to smuggle pot across international borders using his bass drum which is a fucking power move (lemme smoke with u babygirl)